Thankful Thursday

Alzheimer's Disease is a progressive disease, killing vital brain tissue, leading to decreased function, memory, and altered behavior.

I had muttered a statement very similar to the above statement several times to family members, caretakers, and friends never thinking any deeper than the physiological effects and how to potentially treat the disease. I have walked in the Chicago Memory Walk just to support numbers of people with the disease. I just never knew the depth of pain associated with the change in a loved one until I saw my grandmother progressively change.

Today, I finally made the appointment for her to see a geriatric specialist and my heart sunk. When I told her I knew she was about to lose it, as she is the lady to whom I credit all FYSTYNESS!! She once, when I was young, was cheated by the "friendly free cable guy". She saw him walking and pulled her car over to him on the street, pulled a gun and said something... That something I cant quite remember because she reached across me to aim it and I didnt even know she knew what a bullet was!!

So I just want to stay positive and think on the blessings of having her still here with me to share her periodic moments of wisdom. I am thankful that I have had so many wonderful years.

Yet, is it wrong for me to just be pissed off right now,thankful for her life, but just ticked off? Not necessarily mad at anyone, but just mad that it is my Grandma?


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Karen {simply a musing blog} said...

My step dad is 89 and has alzheimers. It is such a robber of joy...he's not the man he used to be in so many ways, so I can completely understand why you're angry. Some days I'm angry too. :)

Anonymous said...

My Grandmother also suffered with this, and I do mean suffer. I'm so sorry to hear that you will all be going through this. I still have a lot of regret about the way I treated my Gramma when she was sick...I was young, didn't understand why she was acting weird, and just tried to avoid the situation. At least you have your maturity about you to handle this, if nothing else.

Good luck to you, and may God bless you through this time.

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