Yep, I realized the words my mother and grandmother spoke so often, unfortunately are true.

If you keep it'll learn.

If you don't stop and think, you'll learn the hard way.

Keep on living, you'll see.

Today, I feel it.
I am learning.
I've got lemons and I don't want dang lemonade.

A few months ago I made a decision that I believed would improve the lives of so many.
I prayed, I received confirmation, and I left.

I left a big big town with many friends and relations to go to a small small town fueled with inequality and even less friends and relations.  However, this town landed on my "trajectory" plan.

Little discomfort...for big rewards, RIGHT?

Anyway, to make this move to the Bang (my name for the town), I had to make a deal with my co-parent, BD, non-custodial partner, to ensure he had time. I wanted to be sure we had two happy parents.....

I offered holidays and summer break and knew with technology "FACE-minutes" and chat it would be like we were still next door.

Until today.

4 months in the Bang and I felt like this:


as my baby pulled away from the curb.

Although I complain daily about "mommying" and really looked forward to a camp, sports, begging-free summer....I was lost and sad.

I have yet to put on clothes....walking around looking at her empty room.
I even think Melot misses her....

Yes, I know she is alive, but she is not here.

Did he feel like this when I decided what was best for EVERYONE?
Was I selfish in making this decision?

Hmmp....this lesson hurts.

Pray Saints!

So in my sadness I called BD and cried. I cried without fear of judgement, because recognized that I'd deemed his feelings/desires irrelevant......and I was wrong.

This lesson allowed me to learn that life is short, the time we have with our babies is even shorter. We have to do what's right: make amends, show love, ask for forgiveness, get healthy, etc. so we can enjoy this life a little longer. 

What is it that you need to do/learn before the lesson gets "taught"?

I'm telling don't want to wait because the lesson hurts!

Your time is now.

I'm praying for you as you pray for me!

Love Ya!


I was ready to share my positive reflective statement for the day, and then good old Yolanda Adams posted this video on her FB page:

Why did this song take me down a path of uncontrollable emotions about HOME?

Originally sung in the Wiz, I remember singing it over and over, because I thought I was Stephanie Mills!!

Hey, but who didn't?


Here are a few of the lyrics (From AZlyrics):

And just maybe I can convince time to slow up
Givin me enough time, ooh, in my life to grow up
Time be my friend
And let me start again

Suddenly my worlds gone and change its fate
And I still know where I'm going
I have had my mind spun round in space
And watched it growing

And oh, if you're listening, God, please don't make it hard
To know if we should believe the things that we see
Tell us should we try and stay or should we run away (Should we run away)
Or will it be better just to let things, let them be, oh

Livin here in this brand new world
Might be a fantasy
But its taught me to love, oh, yeah
And its real, its so real, its real to me

And I've learned that we must look
Inside our hearts to find
A world full of love
Like yours, like mine

Like home
Like, like home

In the midst of all that's going on across the world, especially with our babies (Tyshawn Lee, MIZZOU, etc.) we need to have a safe place where the fears of the world cannot enter in.
  • “Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.” Psalm 61:1 
  • “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint ." Isaiah 40:28-31
  • "The second is like to it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Mark 12:31
Will this make every place HOME? 
I am not sure, but my soul longs for it.
My soul longs for this world to live and love...Like Home.  

We need to be able to press on and believe in what lies before us and power of our God.

We must love our neighbor as ourselves to change the current state.

I guess you can do the math, but this year was a monumental year for me and my DD. We both celebrated turning the big _0! Ms. Meep, became a double digit and I became one of the oldest mommies at the birthday parties!

It's okay, I once felt bad being one of the oldest adult parents in the group, but there are 3 good reasons why I am now okay.

Reason #1: I have already overcome the drama.

So, if you have read any of my posts here or on InspireMe, you know I have been up, down, in and out and can write a book about it.  Therefore, I don't respond to the dumb things that may arise when dealing with a 10 year old:

  • No, you won't get Jordans and I don't care if you say you will starve yourself or run away....
  • Yes teacher, I have reviewed all of her assignments and kept a nice file of all assignments returned, so please update your Powerschool to reflect the grades on the assignment
  • Yes, they talked about you in class, but they talked about Jesus! Are you better than Jesus?
Reason #2: I have a little more flexibility with my career
When I was younger, I didn't have any flexibility because I was working to work to work to work. I had no need for breaks and the money was great.  As I matured, I realized that I needed a work/life balance.  I was really forced to learn this when I had to find childcare during my late night working hours and the daycares closed at 6pm....Hmmp....Who worked 9 to 5 anyway?!?!?

Now I do....I needed this flexible schedule as a MOM and TayMeep loves it.  Having obtained more experience (yes I was working for a while before I had my baby) I was able to shift and now I can pretty much make myself available to "assist the teachers" and support my daughter as needed.....I didn't want to do that several years ago....

Reason #3: I have a chill little girl
Yep, I believe because I am seasoned FystyMama: slower and just a tad bit older than the mom's of many of my child's friends, my daughter is just an overall calm little lady.  She is used to having mature conversations and ready to pack up and go in a heartbeat.  If I don't move I believe she would get ready for school and leave without me saying a word...

So, all in all I am a little bit older than some, but I won't complain.  With age comes wisdom, patience and a little more freedom to remain Fysty!

Love ya-

Lady A
Sometimes instead of just posting and praying, I have a moment where I want to just cry out and share with my Father and this is okay.  Although I have shared my letter here, I want you to know that it is okay to stop, cry, write, or scream out to God when you need Him.  He knows your struggle and He knows your needs and He is here! Today I am thankful for His omnipresence....So grateful...

If you ever want to pray, or need me to pray for you....Inbox me. I am here.

Dear God-

My precious and holy father, you are my source of strength and I am grateful. You are the God of my salvation, for it is in you that I live move and have my being, and I thank you! You chose me as your own, and with that I am a joint heir to the throne. You gave your son Jesus, the perfect sacrifice, to die on my behalf, and I won’t let the rocks cry out on my behalf.  If I had ten thousand tongues, it still would not be enough to proclaim your worth and my constant gratitude. I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High. It is unto you, God that I continuously offer the sacrifice of praise, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to your name.
Lord, continue to guide my footsteps as I walk daily and seek to grow my knowledge and understanding of you. I thank you for our continuous conversations and how you are shifting me and pouring into my life.  I thank you for heightening my understanding of spiritual gifts and helping me see my gifts.  Thank you for sharpening my ability to discern and hear your voice.  Continue to strengthen my intercessory prayer abilities and spiritual ears and eyes to pray for those you have placed in my path. I cancel any negative assignment of the enemy and declare and decree that I will move forward with boldness doing all that you have called me to do.
Father God, I thank you for my family.  Please cover them and give me the words to draw them closer to you.  I am a walking epistle and no matter how they may chide me, I will continuously press into your love and your peace so that I can live and love in excellence.  I know that these jokes are a ploy of the enemy to divide and conquer, but your word says that when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him and for that I am thankful.
Lord, I thank you for your continued protection. Please continue to pour into my finances!  Your word says we should not worry about our life, what we will eat or what we will drink; nor about our bodies, what I will put on. For if you take care of the birds that neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, I know you will also take care of me!
I thank you for your love and your continued covering.  I will continuously seek thy face and thy will for my life forever and ever amen.


So, for those of you that have missed me, I am back!! I have been hosting a blog on ChicagoNow called Inspire ME and it takes a lot of time!!

Well, Ms. Tates is now a 10 Year Old Pre-Teen!!!
and I have enjoyed every moment with her!

We travel and read and argue?? (yes, I know), but I love it all.


That is why I have become SNEAKY MAMA in addition to the FystyMAMA!
My child has a very strong aversion to vegetables and fruit! This drives me crazy because I want to expand our dinner options, but I also want her to enjoy mealtime!

So, I purchased the Deceptively Delicious book, hoping that I could come up with creative ways to sneak veggies into her meals.  THIS BOOK WAS A GOD SEND!

I began blending broccoli and adding it to burgers. I added carrots to cookies and finally, I added blended apples to Kool-Aid!!! Yes, I turned a normally empty drink into a fiber filled delicacy!

So I plan to share my Sneaky Recipes soon, so come back for more!

If you have any deliciously sneaky recipes that have worked for your family, share them with me!

After all, with friends we can make this FystyMama thing look easy!!!

This week on one of my favorite shows #Iyanla Fix My Life, they discussed the infidelity of a Pastor and its effect on the wife, children and parishioners.  This story affected me greatly because it shows that although people are called to a position, the flesh is weak and if we don't die daily, those with greater responsibility will face (and may fall to) greater temptation.

However, I also began to reflect upon times in my life when I let my guard down because of position and promise not realizing the true identity and "mess" in the message.  For example, when I would begin to talk to a man  as a potential "suitor" back in the day, I could recognize "game" instantly.  If he gave me his cell and was vague on the phone and call only during the work hours, I would understand that there is probably another relationship or something he is hiding from me.  I would then discontinue conversations because I did not have time for mess. 

On the other hand when a man from church approaches with the same actions and untruths, I  may let him pass, because he is a "Good Man".  Very similar to the wife in the television scenario, I realized because a man is deemed "of God", attends church, knows the word, and may even preach very well, we, as women, give them extra "grace" or "bonus points" because of their potential. We figure that if he knows God, then he can't be all that bad, and if there is a problem God can fix it, right?

I can admit, I have even had a man in leadership tell me abstinence is Old Testament and we are now under grace! I knew it was wrong, but the man was good looking and had a word in him, so I kept the conversation going.  I began to envision all of the perks (as the wife mentioned on #IFML) of dating this man and ignored the signs! Although I never followed up on "that discussion", I now realize I fell for the banana in the tailpipe in effort to link up with potential instead of recognizing the mess! 

The Bible tells us in Romans 16: 17-18 to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.

I thank God for growth and the ability to recognize flattery and deceit in effort to move us away from our Purpose! 

Be strong sisters, He hears us and will soon send the one He kept for us!


Lady A-TFM

I’m In This Place Kim Stratton-A Prophetic Ministry-Yet the current Soundtrack of My LIFE!!

Scriptural References:
  1. Luke 17: 21 KJV-Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. 
  2. I Corinthians 6: 19-20 KJV- What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's 
We have been anointed and appointed for such a time as this! The Glory of the Lord shines both around and within us as we were selected to do a good work in the Kingdom. Prior to our delivery in this world, God decided and planned our destiny and path in life. Once we were birthed into our earthen vessels, we were then allowed to live freely on this Earth, deciding to stay or stray from the path of righteousness. As believers, we know that the same God who raised Jesus from the dead is alive and dwells within us. Thus, I believe that God has instilled in us His glory, majesty and power, and when we are to do a good work on this Earth we have the power to see it to fruition. Likewise, because we are His children and heirs to the throne, if we are ever unable to tap into the power that dwells within us, we have the ability to call our Daddy for assistance. When we seek His face and his presence, our Father will come to comfort and calm us. When we are weak He gives us the strength to endure and restores us.

I chose this song because this year showed me that not only does God hide us from tumultuous circumstances, but He also comes to us in the midst of our trials to show us that He loves us and is never too far away. Sometimes, we get so “bogged down” with the cares of the world that we have to stop and realize He is there, standing right beside us holding our hands. He is right in that very place where we have diligently sought to see His face. Although we can’t always feel it or recognize when we have entered into His presence, He sees and knows what we are going through. Similarly, God continuously guides us and protects us so while we are in the fire we can come out unscathed. I needed to know this during these past few months. Although I know God permissively allows certain circumstances to occur in our lives as a pruning process, there are times when I just become overwhelmed. This song ministers to my spirit as it constantly reminds me that God comes to give us Spiritual Prosperity! For this our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us (Romans 8:18). Because He dwells within me, I continuously tap into that inner faith and power to move forward victoriously. He is in this place-my heart, my mind, and my soul! I can trust, lean and cast my cares upon Him, because He has already taken care of it all!

Have You Tapped Into That Power That Works Within YOU? Do you realize God is in This Place?

Love you!

Lady A-The FM
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